What's wrong with me?

Yes, what is wrong with me?

Well, I often get some weird situation with people around me? I don't know why. When this is happen, I try to be defended rather than offended. In fact I always feel guilty even maybe I'm not wrong at this case. But people get easily irritate me with their way. I easily get depressed.

I mean I'm only human. It's normal if I do a few mistake, in purpose or not. I also try really hard to understand and treat them the way they want to be treated. If it is wrong if I want to be understood too? Why? I can't stop asking why? I'm a kind of person who avoid having a problem with another, but why there is always an unnecessary problem happen?

What's wrong with me? Seriously I want to be a better person. For myself, for my family, my friends, my boyfriend and all people. So if I have done a mistake, just tell me. And if you want to tell me, just find a right time when I'm not in a bad situation. Thx U

Bye for now,

Great Lost for Ayu's Death

with a heavy warm raindrops in Jogjakarta

I'm sorry for didn't write some post yesterday, meanwhile I promised to you and myself to post everyday. Well there was something suddenly happened yesterday, which shocked me enough.

Yesterday, I passed the day started with a great stomach in early morning. I had to go to the toilette like thousands time, that made my body feels very weak. Because of the stomach disaster, I canceled the "Pikatan Horsing Club" photo session with another peeps from Unit Berkuda UGM. Unfortunately, because I really wanted to hang around with my peeeps from the club, I missed them so much.

But fortunately, the ordinary day had changed because my UB peep, Nadya invited me to join with another peeps to watch movies in Moviebox. I was really glad, because finally there is something to do to pass the Saturday night. So I was picked up in 8pm and enjoyed the horror movies which enough scary. After movies, me and my peeps had some dinner time in Kedai 24 in Seturan. We laughed, eaten food noisy and play some minigame which made us very happy. You know, that usually, I m not easily feels comfort in group that I rarely join in. But I always feel comfortable when I stay around them. Though most of our conversation mostly filled by such jokes things (not kind of 'heavy' conversation that makes you confuse). I still enjoy the club. I still wondering why I really feel such a great warm.
:)) thank u fellas

Then, the badnews was arrived via text sent to Darsim said that Ayu one of the horses is dying. Me, Nadya, Afa and Darsim, went right away to stable in Godean. Though it was almost in the middle of the night, Nadya bravely driven her car with me and afa while darsim had ride his motorcycle.

And this is the shocking news I told above. When we arrived in Godean, Ade the groomer said that Ayu had dead. And suddenly Nadya and Afa crying, Darsim seemed more tough to face the death. I felt sad and lost, but i wasn't crying at all. Well I m not a kind of girl who easily get tears run out. I dont know why,.

Because it's almost 2am in the morning, we decided to go home and come back again for Ayu's funeral.

On the way home, I felt really sorry for Nadya who couldnt stop crying. She kept the phone on the line called another UB peeps, told them about Ayu's death. I amaze to, how Ayu could really stay in nadya's heart, so when she's gone, Nadya feel a great lost. I do believe that there is a strong connection between God's creature, who love each other. I this case, Ayu was Nadya first horse that Nadya rode bravely. And from Nadya story, Ayu is the sweetest horse that always act nice and good even to newbi. Too bad that I have not ever rode with her. But still I love her so much, honestly.

And now, Ayu has buried in the cornfield near her stable. I always remember her as a nice sweet horse who always longing for people touch in her head. And will be always UB sweetheart that we will never forget. Goodbye sweety,